If you are currently considering what options to take or which route to go in after school or college, you probably feel overwhelmed with advice. It can seem like everyone from your parents, friends and your teacher to your grandparents have advice as to what is best for you, Chances are that they mean well with their advice – but sometimes it can be hard to cope with it all without getting fed up, feeling like you are being told what to do, or even maybe upsetting a few people close to you by arguing. Of course not all of the advice you get will be useless, and so it is worth knowing what to listen to and when to politely ignore it! Check out these possible situations and how to deal with them (without upsetting everybody):
It could be that the person who is giving the advice is out of touch with what you want from your life. Maybe there is a lack of understanding as to who you are these days and where you are trying to go. This can be particularly tough for parents who may struggle to accept that you are no longer their little boy or girl, or from relatives who may not have seen you for some time. Understanding where the person who is giving the advice is coming from will help you navigate the situation. If the information they are working with is old or wrong, then there is no wonder the advice will be off the mark too. Listen to the advice, thank them for it and then update them on your new passions and dreams, so that at least you are all working from the same page.
If you are planning to go to university or move away for your job, then you may find you face resistance. Again understanding the emotion behind this is important. If, for example, you are being advised to look for an apprenticeship for financial reasons that is one thing, but if you think your mum is trying to stop you going to university because she’ll miss you, then that’s another thing altogether! If you understand the real reasons behind the advice, you can help to ease any fears. Showing that you will cope just fine is one thing – maybe take up a little more responsibility around the house to show that you are mature enough to look after yourself.
This is the toughest one to deal with. Whether it is a career goal or even a business that you one-day hope to start, it is tough to have your dreams shut down. Bear in mind that if the person who is shutting you down is an expert you might want to find out why and get some advice, but other than that you might want to work out why there are so many objections. Is it about someone else’s fear of stepping out on the path you want to take that is guiding them? Find out why the person objects to your ideas – but keep it constructive and try not to take it personally.
While these are examples of unwanted career advice, well-placed advice can help you a great deal, so be careful not to dismiss everything out of hand. Ask for advice if you want it and take advantage of the wisdom that may come from friends and family. Ask direct questions, about what they would do, or what they think of a certain idea.
However, be careful to make sure you are not upset or tetchy for any other reason before asking for advice, just in case what you hear isn’t to your liking. Friends and family can be blunt in their answers, but remember you can’t change how they are but only how you react to them.
Take the good, discard the bad, and stay classy!
